“Let me out!” screams Binty silently as her date with a preened toff goes horribly awkward and she tries with every ounce of her wit not to look at the camera.

The latest in a spate of ill-conceived TV experiments, Made in Chelsea only serves to highlight, in my mind, that these people neither earned nor deserve their wealth or status.

Dreary contrived situational drama abounds. The programme has a regular roster of about 10, and they only ever introduce one new person each week. So why, having agreed to appear in the show, and having subjected themselves to the producers’ plans, do they express surprise at their ex being at the same clay pigeon shooting venue?

“Who invited him!?”

“Our employers, they thought it might produce sexy results, plus you look so cute when you’re tormented.”

“Oh right, yah, no, but like, it might be awkward?”

And what of the weird burning couple with the same hair? Total beard. On a date:

“I love you Ollie, what do you think of me?”

“Oh my gosh, your eyelashes are like, amazing!”

I will be watching in earnest to see if he ends up shafting one of his male co-stars.

Meanwhile, Geordie Shore is coming soon, I will surely be here slating.

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